RATW: Freddie admits he has no memory of mum Jade Goody
TV personality Jeff Brazier has opened up about the profound impact of losing his father at a young age and how it shaped his approach to coping with the tragic death of Jade Goody, as he supported their sons Bobby and Freddie through their grief.
The 45-year-old star revealed the emotional journey on Celebrity Race Across The World, airing Wednesday night (August 28), in which he appeared alongside his youngest son Freddie. Jeff reflected on how his childhood experiences influenced his parenting style after Jade's passing from cervical cancer in 2009.
During the show, Jeff said: "My experience in childhood probably really lent into how I've parented Bobby and Freddie."
He shared more about his personal history, including his mother's decision to have him at just 15 and the loss of his biological father at the age of nine.
He said:"My mum, probably against everyone's opinions, decided to have me even though she was only 15-years-old - so I'm forever grateful for that. I didn't ever have the company of my biological dad, he died when I was nine.
"I always obviously regret never meeting him, so when it came to me being a dad I was always going to make sure that they had the experience of me that I would have liked to have had from him."
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Jeff also opened up about stepping up his parental role following Jade's tragic death at 27, saying he "doubled down" on being there for his kids during those challenging times, reports the Manchester Evening News.
Speaking on Celebrity Race Across The World, he said: "I think when the boys lost their mum I really doubled down on putting all of my time, effort, attention, focus on my children."
"I needed to be there, helping them to navigate whatever the future was going to look like for them given their loss. And I'm still playing that role. But yeah the more Fred does for himself, I know that he can start to push on in life."
Meanwhile, Freddie opened up about his mother's passing and confessed that he struggles with expressing his feelings without feeling like he's 'burdening' his father.
As they embarked on the third leg of their journey, his dad asked him: "If you could go anywhere to feel like you took some time for mum, where would it be?"
Freddie responded: "To watch the sunset, I think that sounds really nice," prompting his dad to concur: "If that will make you feel like you have done something special for her."
Discussing his grief, Freddie said: "My mum was Jade Goody, I guess some people know her as the Big Brother star. I lost my mum when I was four due to cervical cancer and that was on Mother's Day which is really hard."
"I don't really like showing my emotions, I don't even really speak to my dad much about my mum either, I just avoid it. I prefer it to bottle it up. I don't want to feel like a burden to him."
"A lot of my memories that I have of my mum have come from watching a documentary, YouTube clips, and newspapers, they are not my memories. I don't really remember being held, yeah I don't really remember being held by my mum.
"If I had more memories with her it would have made it a whole lot harder for me, but I think I would have rather that, than not really remembering the things that I had done with my mum. It is just life really and I have kind of accepted that."
Celebrity Race Across the World is available to watch on BBC iPlayer.
