David Beckham has revealed he spent almost three decades hiding the pain he suffered from his darkest career moments for club and country.
But making his blockbuster Netflix documentary was like therapy and helped him come to terms with his past heartaches.
The football and fashion icon – whose performances both on and off the pitch were always front-page news – said he only truly faced his demons when speaking about his life for the show, nominated at next month’s Emmy Awards.
The ex-England captain claims he pushed aside his pain, including from the nation’s anger at his red card in the 1998 World Cup match against Argentina, a moment he described as “the most difficult time in my career”.
The former Manchester United and Real Madrid star admits he found it “uncomfortable” to express his feelings. “I must admit I wasn’t fully prepared for the depth of commitment and emotional energy this process would require,” he said.
“It was challenging and at times, hard.
“I realised I had pushed so many of these feelings and emotions aside for years. I had always been taught to hold everything in and put on a brave face. This was the first time I had truly confronted some pretty monumental moments in my life, and it was therapeutic.
“I grew up and became well-known at a time when mental health was rarely discussed. I wouldn’t say that making this documentary gave me closure because I still feel pain from those moments.
“But it did allow me to forgive myself and let go of some of that guilt.”
The father-of-four revealed that after the show’s premiere, “my mum pulled me aside and reassured me, ‘You don’t need to feel bad anymore’.
“Those words make me feel emotional to this day.”
The co-owner of Inter Miami, who turns 50 next year, believes it has taken him until now to face his fears.
“I wouldn’t have been able to make this series 10 or even five years ago,” he said.
“In hindsight I realise that a big part of moving forward is to look back and reflect.”
Earlier this week it was reported that David’s fashion designer wife Victoria, who also faced life in the public eye as a member of Nineties pop queens The Spice Girls, has landed her own Netflix docu-series after her scene stealing appearances in her husband’s show.
