Work friendships are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, work is vastly more bearable–and maybe even strays into fun–when you're pals with the people you spend time with each day. Friendship can make odious tasks tolerable and worthwhile tasks more satisfying. But friendship is about authenticity, acceptance, and agenda-free companionship; the point of work is to get things done, whether or not you like your co-workers. The two aims often come into conflict, creating awkwardness and stress. Here are some tips for being a colleague and a chum.
Acknowledge any tension. When co-worker friends disagree, they can experience "role confusion"–they're not sure if it's more important to be a good employee or a good friend. It's especially tough to be a friend and a supervisor. Experts say it's best to be up front about any tension. If you used to have lunch with your buddy and you can't do that as his boss without drawing some side-eye, don't just go cold turkey; explain it to him. And if you need to keep some information confidential, explain why.
Separate the channels. Being very overt about which mode you're in in a given moment can help mitigate confusion or hurt feelings: Are you speaking as a friend or a colleague? Try keeping all work communications on your company email and all friendly chatter on personal platforms like text or social media.
Be patient. Keep in mind that once you've divulged something to a work friend, there's no taking it back. If the relationship sours, past oversharing could damage both the friendship and your ability to do your job. One expert suggests having 10 coffee dates with a co-worker before deciding to take the friendship beyond the office. And if things do go awry with friends because of work, don't forget: they're under pressure too.
