Rivals TV review -- All hail the Great British bonk off

Well, it’s not the sort of show the esteemed Mr Walt Disney would have had on his TV channel back in the Sixties.

I speak of the much-publicised adaptation of Jilly Cooper's Rivals on Disney +

In fact, Walt would have been horrified -- before probably watching all eight episodes, while chuckling along. Why? Sex sells, as we know, and there’s ample here, as American streamer Disney+ lures more subscribers, and conjures up a British hit. This may indeed be it.

Everyone is at it here. The busiest person on the set must have been the intimacy co-ordinator.

Only the camel, which appears in a New Year's Eve party in episode three, seems to have been spared.

This is a period drama too, set in the Eighties, but here, like in Bridgerton, the costumes are more off than on.

Most importantly, this comedy-drama is a hilarious rendering of Jilly Cooper’s Eighties’ “bonkbuster”, a word we no longer use. Romp is far more accurate.

This show is also about nostalgia, taking us back to naughtier times. Indeed, some of the characters would have been at home on a Carry On set.

Rivals opens in scintillating fashion, aboard that icon of the Eighties, Concorde. I almost expected Joan Collins to pop up with a Cinzano as elsewhere one couple made brisk use of the on-board facilities.

We knew what sort of show we were watching within seconds, probably a record.

While this raunch-fest may be light years from chaste Disneyland fairy tales, this is precisely what happens when Taggie (Bella Maclean), the young daughter of a chat show host falls for a lord of the manor Rupert Campbell-Black (Alex Hassell), in deepest Cotswolds.

The chat show chap will be very familiar to costume drama fans, once wielding his scythe to great effect in Poldark.

Here, actor Aidan Turner is the Jeremy Paxman of his day, Declan O’Hara, ambushing celebrities and politicians with secrets to hide. I was almost convinced.

His TV boss is former Doctor Who David Tennant, Eighties man-made-good Tony Baddingham who is battling against the class system as he tries to renew his TV channel licence. No wonder it had to be so racy.

Some of the stronger performances are among the women. Katherine Parkinson is quizzical as a writer trying to make sense of this crazy world in a drama where the men tend to drive the story, often to their cost.

Producers say they wanted to “modernise” the story and make it “real”. They’ve almost achieved the former but really this is a fun drama watching the rich and privileged at play.

Just make sure any children or maiden aunts are having an early night!

Now for something completely different, also set in Gloucestershire, but without the laughs.

It’s a new series, the third in fact, of Police: Night Shift 999 (Channel 5, Wed). I won't pretend that I'm a regular viewer but was recommended this show. I was hooked.

It was difficult not to come away from watching this incredibly gritty documentary without thinking how dedicated our police are -- and how painfully difficult the job is.

For one, most people wouldn’t make it to the crime scene because of the speed of the blue lighting police car. I'd be a wreck!

It was a nail-biting drama right from the start. They turned up at a road in Gloucestershire where a man had been seen in the street armed with a knife and a hammer.

Six armed officers came through the front door, taking no chances. The man was later tasered, and calm was restored.

You won't see that plotline in Rivals.

When did the sitcom die, I hear you ask. There's good evidence that it may have been when Absolutely Fabulous stopped.

There was a fine retrospective, Absolutely Fabulous: Inside Out (Gold, Thurs), on this hilarious show involving all of its main players -- Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Julia Sawalha and Jane Horrocks. Only missing was the late, great June Whitfield.

They couldn't help themselves but laugh watching their own show, just like us at home.

“We just had the best time,” said Saunders. But when asked if the show would return, she almost shouted down the idea with, ‘Absolutely not!’”

OK, only asking; pass the Bolly.

Finally, Mr Loverman (BBC1, Mon) was a gentle drama, but with a potentially tumultuous secret simmering beneath the surface.

Starring Lenny James and Sharon D Clarke, it centred on Barrington’s (James) inability to deal with the secret that he was gay.

Surely when he does finally reveal it, his wife will go, “Well, now tell me something I don’t know!”

Based on Bernardine Evaristo’s original novel, it's a family story that's set on a difficult course, which is as unpredictable as it is tense.

Barrington likes a drink, which should speed up his revelation – if he can stay awake long enough to tell someone!