-Jumping ahead about a month. This is definitely not a complete episode; I’d say the first half-hour is missing. So let’s just pretend the Braves played a special winter game that day and it went long.
-Originally aired February 13, 1982.
-Your hosts are Gordon Solie & Roddy Piper.
-So at the point that this tape is picking up, Gino Hernandez has just won a squash match, and Piper is just flat-out horny for this new rising star and demands that he come over to the commentary desk for an interview. Piper is thrilled that someone with true scientific talent is in the area. Gino brags and rhymes his way through a promo and shakes hands with Piper, and just that fast, he’s established himself as a star in a new territory.
-Ole Anderson is here. So last month, Ole and Buzz were the World Tag Team Champions by virtue of Buzz agreeing to replace Gene Anderson. So now the script’s been rewritten and our story is that there’s a World Tag Team Title tournament being held, with the finals in the Omni on February 28. And Ole announces that his partner in the tournament will be Stan Hansen.
-Masked Superstar and Super Destroyer are here with the National Tag Team Title belts, and they plan on upgrading in the Omni on the 28th in the tournament.
-Dusty Rhodes wants a match with Kabuki, and Gary Hart is here with a pair of kendo sticks to describe a gimmick match. The two sticks are laid out in X formation in the middle of the ring. The match starts with both men standing on the second turnbuckle. First wrestler to grab the sticks gets to use them. And Gary says what we’re all thinking, calling attention to the fact that, yes, he’s devised a gimmick match that requires climbing and running from Dusty Rhodes.
BRISCO BROTHERS vs. LEN DENTON & BUTCH BRONSON
-This isn’t Georgia but I’m not 100% sure which territory we’re in for this one. It’s Gordon on commentary but it doesn’t look like Florida.
-Jack starts with a waistlock takedown and holds Denton in place for a one count. Everybody tags. Gerry does his own waistlock takedown and rides before going to the arm. Overhead suplex by Gerry, and Jack quickly tags in and applies a figure four to get the submission. Denton needs to try dirtier and whiter tactics in future tag team matches, I think.
-Gary Hart goes ahead and adds gloves to the gimmicky match he’s organizing for Dusty Rhodes. Freddie Miller steps in to say he just saw Dusty Rhodes’ car pull up to the studio parking lot, and Gary abruptly says that he and Kabuki need to leave for some important business.
-Gordon is concerned that Dusty could get injured in this proposed match due to, and honest to God I’m not joking Gordon says this…”the unique molecular structure of bamboo.” And on that note, here’s Dusty Rhodes, wanting to know where the hell Gary Hart and Kabuki and Roddy Piper went because he’s here to slay a dragon, baby.
JIM GARVIN vs. DEKE RIVERS
-Rivers attacks from behind, but misses an elbow and gets shoulderblocked down by Garvin. Running forearm gives Garvin a fast victory.
-Dusty Rhodes is back because somebody just explained Gary Hart’s match idea to him, and he ain’t afraid of long sticks because he already brought one with him, baby.
-Bad Bad Leroy Brown is coming to Chattanooga to get his hands on the Super Destroyer tonight!
MASKED SUPERSTAR & SUPER DESTROYER (National Tag Team Champions) vs. GERALD FINLEY AND GERALD FINLEY’S PARTNER
-Finley surprises Destroyer with a pair of dropkicks that send him tumbling to the floor. Masked men take control, hammering Finley and ramming him from corner to corner. Non-Finley tags in and gets slammed repeatedly, and a big elbow by Superstar finishes. It’s funny to me in this era how these guys did three stomachbreakers in a row, and then pinned him with an elbow.
-Tommy Rich and Jim Garvin are ready for action tonight in Chattanooga!
-Hour #2 is underway!
-Roddy Piper wants to know why Bob Armstrong isn’t in the building. Gordon Solie explains that the Armstrongs want to win the tournament on February 28th, and they’re so concerned that Bob could get suspended for assaulting a commentator before then that to eliminate the temptation, he won’t appear on TV until the tournament is over.
BUZZ SAWYER vs. RUSTY ROBERTS
-Sawyer takes Roberts down and applies a painful-looking facelock. Clothesline by Sawyer, and a double fist from the top rope gives Sawyer the win.
-Gary Hart and Kabuki are back out here to do a demonstration of Kabuki’s reflexes. Kabuki is wearing a protective metal glove and manages to deflect every shot that Hart throws with a kendo stick. Hart calls Dusty “a piece of blob” to finish up.
-Dusty Rhodes comes out to work the mic a third time. No complaints here. I gotta say, there’s a pronounced difference in Dusty’s promos whenever he’s someplace where he doesn’t have the book, and he’s a blast. Dusty offers a rebuttal to the kendo stick demonstration, hitting himself with a folding chair repeatedly.
BRAD ARMSTRONG vs. CHIC DONOVAN
-Donovan does some nice mat work to take Brad down. Arm wringers are traded, and Armstrong armdrags Donovan down. Donovan fights back with forearms and stunguns Armstrong. Neckbreaker gets two, so Donovan stays with the neck, applying a headlock. Armstrong comes back with a right hand and a backdrop, and a powerslam by Armstrong gets three. Armstrong gave Donovan a ton of offense and it turned into a really damn good bit of business for a few minutes as a result.
-Ron Bass is still undefeated, and he likes to hurt people!
RON BASS vs. KEN TIMBS
-Bass unloads with right hands that elicit a “WOW!” from Gordon. He throws Timbs to the concrete. Back in, Bass keeps hammering away, and an atomic drop gets two because Bass opts not to let it finish. Powerslam and a piledriver by Bass, but he still won’t conclude this. Powerslam, but Bass picks him up at two again, and Nick Patrick is FED UP with this shit and calls for the bell! Ron Bass loses by DQ, which means his undefeated streak just ended and it’s his own damn fault. Bass takes it out on Timbs until a gang of babyfaces hurries in and chases him out.
-Tommy Rich and Jim Garvin both voice their disgust about what just happened and challenge Bass to matches to put him in his place.
JIM GARVIN vs. RICK HARRIS
-Garvin works the arm. Harris tries to do likewise but Garvin turns it into a hammerlock and forces him into the ropes. So Harris just gets dirty, popping him one right in the nose. Garvin dropkicks Harris to the floor in retaliation. Harris is all fired up when he gets back in, raking the eyes and ramming Garvin into the turnbuckle. Harris goes to the eyes again, and Piper rationalizes it thusly: “Why run home when you can get there by climbing over a fence?” Winners get paid, and you got into this business to get paid, right?
-FULL bodyslam by Harris, but Garvin cradles him out of nowhere for a surprise three-count.
-Roddy Piper gushes over Gino Hernandez a little more. Gino shows off photos of himself at Farrah Fawcett’s last birthday party. “With women, you gotta focus on quality, not quantity.”
KEVIN SULLIVAN vs. RICK BENEFIELD
-Sullivan hammers away at Benefield and works his arm. Snapmare and a double stomp gives Sullivan the three-count.
-And here’s Dusty Rhodes AGAIN to sell some tickets. “Gary Hart, bring the chucks.” He probably means nunchucks but I like to imagine that he’s telling Gary Hart to bring canvas sneakers to a kendo stick fight.
-Tommy Rich says that getting laid doesn’t win matches, so Gino Hernandez needs to show what he can do in the ring.
-And here’s NWA World Champion Ric Flair. He doesn’t run from challengers, he runs from arena to arena to show people in every city who the best in the world is.
TOMMY RICH (National Champion) vs. NICK CONNORS
-Arm work exchanged. Rich drives an elbow into the skull and snapmares Connors down. Thesz press puts Connors away.
