They starred in one of the most romantic movies of all time, The Notebook, so when the world found out that and were in love in real life, it was a dream come true. But life didn’t quite imitate art, since IRL the bittersweet ending for the couple — who were even born in the same London, Ontario hospital — came a whole lot sooner…
How it Began
Based on Nicholas Sparks’ bestselling novel of the same name, The Notebook began shooting in 2003, but it wasn’t a case of love at first sight; in fact, shockingly, these two didn’t like each other at all at first. According to the movie’s director , Gosling, then just 22, even asked for McAdams, then 24, to be replaced because he didn’t think they had chemistry.
“They were really not getting along one day on set,” he told VH1 in 2014. “Really not. And Ryan came to me, and there’s 150 people standing in this big scene, and he says, “Nick come here.” And he’s doing a scene with Rachel and he says, “Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off camera with me?” I said, “What?” He says, “I can’t. I can’t do it with her. I’m just not getting anything from this.” We went into a room with a producer; they started screaming and yelling at each other. I walked out.”
But, much like in the movie, airing some of that tension seemed to do the trick. “It got better after that, you know?” Cassavetes explained. “They had it out… I think Ryan respected her for standing up for her character and Rachel was happy to get that out in the open. The rest of the film wasn’t smooth sailing, but it was smoother sailing.”
It wasn’t until 2005, around a year after the movie’s release and around the time that the pair won the MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss — yes, that kiss, the one with “I wrote you every day” and all the rain — that they went public with their relationship, as well as reenacting the steamy smooch on stage. So, we guess it was sexual tension all along.
“We inspired the worst in each other,” Gosling told The Guardian in 2007. “It was a strange experience, making a love story and not getting along with your co-star in any way. I don’t know what happened. Two years later, I saw her in New York and we started getting the idea that maybe we were wrong about each other.”
How Long it Lasted
Unlike their characters, these two did not grow old together: they broke up in 2007 after over two years of dating — although much of the relationship was long-distance, with Gosling living in Los Angeles and McAdams in Toronto. They logged frequent flyer miles that summer jetting to see each other, as rumors began to circulate that they had split — but nothing was officially confirmed until a few months later, when Gosling spoke to GQ.
Of course, if this was actually The Notebook, they would get back together further down the line, but we wouldn’t want to do that to .
Why it Ended
The exes have never spilled all the beans on their reasons for splitting, but Gosling, now 43, is aware that breaking up with his cinematic soulmate was not a popular decision among their many fans. “Women are mad at me,” he told GQ in 2007, a few months after they ended things. “A girl came up to me on the street and she almost smacked me, like, ‘How could you? How could you let a girl like that go?’ I feel like I want to give people hugs, they seem so sad. Rachel and I should be the ones getting hugs. Instead, we’re consoling everybody else.”
In the same interview, Gosling said of the breakup, “The only thing I remember is we both went down swingin’ and we called it a draw.”
He also told The Times in 2011 that working in Hollywood was a big factor. “Show business is the bad guy,” he said. “When both people are in show business, it’s too much show business. It takes all of the light, so nothing else can grow.”
It seems that Gosling learned from this experience, however. While he has since settled down with someone else very much in showbusiness, Mendes — and successfully grown two children (daughters Esmeralda and Amada are 10 and 8) — he’s taken a noticeably more private approach this time: no huge, televised kisses here!
What They Said About Each Other
These days, both parties are pretty private about their personal lives, but Gosling said a few cute, memorable things about his time with McAdams, now 45 — and especially that award-winning kiss.
“You have to be born with a magic mouth,” he said following the memorable Best Kiss win. “Some have said about Rachel that she’s kind of like what Jimi Hendrix was to the guitar.”
Back in his 2007 GQ chat shortly after their breakup, he also said a few lovely words about his time with McAdams. “God bless The Notebook,” he said. “It introduced me to one of the great loves of my life. But people do Rachel and me a disservice by assuming we were anything like the people in that movie. Rachel and my love story is a hell of a lot more romantic than that.”
What They Say Now
It’s clear that there’s no major bad blood between these two. In his 2011 Times interview, not long before he went public with Mendes, he was once again complimentary about McAdams, along with his other high-profile ex, Sandra Bullock, who he dated in 2002. “I had two of the greatest girlfriends of all time,” he said. “I haven’t met anyone who could top them. There’s interest but I’m in a committed relationship with film. I’m giving as much to it as a marriage.”
At the time, though, he was eager to be a dad. “I’d like to be making babies, but I’m not, so I’m making movies,” he said. “When someone comes along I don’t think I’ll be able to do both and I’m fine with that. I’ll make movies until I make babies. I have no idea when the handover will happen.”
And sure enough, he was soon making babies with Mendes — but thankfully has kept up his acting career too!
Meanwhile, In 2008, McAdams said that she’d learned a lot from her time with Gosling — as well as confirming that they were still friends. “I guess each relationship is different,” she told Hello Canada. “That’s what I love about relationships. Even when they end, you’ve learned so very much, so much to take into your next relationship and to take into your life. It’s the greatest thing that comes out of an ending.”
When it comes to her own personal life, she has been even more private than her former love. She dated actor from 2010 to 2013, before settling down with screenwriter in 2016 and having two children together, but never revealing their names. In 2018, though, she told The Sunday Times that she loved motherhood. “It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, hands down,” she said. “Your life is not your own any more. But I had 39 years of me, I was sick of me, I was so happy to put the focus on some other person. I waited a long time.”
Key Relationship Takeaways
In June 2024, celebrating The Notebook’s 20th anniversary, that loose-lipped director Cassavetes told Entertainment Weekly, “They fell in love and became a wonderful, wonderful fiery couple.”
Even though they didn’t last the course, the fact that there was so much going on behind the scenes of one of the most romantic movies of all time means that Gosling and McAdams are a couple who will always be celebrated. As Cassavetes says, “If you want to know why The Notebook is considered kind of a romantic classic, the answers are Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, and that’s the beginning and the end of it.”
