Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'

is feeling herself. “Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I don’t think I look my age,” Osbourne, who turned 40 on Sunday, October 27, shared in the latest issue of Us Weekly. She’s right: It’s hard to believe it’s been 22 years since she entered our living rooms — along with her famously outrageous family — in the groundbreaking MTV reality series The Osbournes. Despite appearances, she’s certainly lived a lot of life over the past two-plus decades, battling addiction, mental health issues and body shaming, both from the media and her own inner voice.

Osbourne’s milestone has inspired a lot of reflection. She tells Us everything she’s been through has made her who she is today. “I am just so grateful for every mistake I made, for every lesson learned, for all of it. I have such an incredible life.” In 2020, she revealed she’d lost 85 pounds after undergoing gastric bypass surgery two years earlier, and she’s been sober since 2021. But Osbourne says nothing has changed her as much as motherhood. “I truly believe my baby saved me and made me a whole human,” she says of welcoming son Sidney, who turns 2 on November 6, with her partner, Slipknot DJ , 47. “I don’t think I knew what love was before having a baby.”

Osbourne sat down with Us at the W Hotel in Hollywood to talk more about her exciting next chapter, people’s misconceptions of growing up with famous parents — “If you spent five minutes in my shoes, you couldn’t cut it,” she says — and her biggest regrets.

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It’s like a 50-50 for me. Half of me is excited and ready for it, and the other half is still holding on to my adolescent behavior. It’s a bit like, “Whoa. What’s going on?” You’re really an adult now.

My life has come very, very far. What could I possibly complain about? I work, I have an incredible partner and an unbelievable baby who has completely changed me.

I don’t remember life before having the baby because everything has changed. I didn’t realize just how powerful the feeling of love was [going to be] when you have the baby. It’s the most … addictive feeling I have ever felt. You realize in that one second, “You’ve given me purpose like nothing has ever given me before.” I don’t think I had purpose. I went from thing to thing to thing, and this level of self-hate and self-doubt that I used to have would just take me out.

I don’t believe God would’ve given me a baby during a time when I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for it. [When] I was still actively drinking, still actively using … I would’ve been a terrible mother. I wasn’t selfless enough. I’m so glad it happened when I was a little older and I had my s–t together.

Turning 40 is the opportunity to be the real me and say goodbye to all of the past. I get to start again. I used to carry around the shame of being an addict everywhere with me, and it was a heavy burden to bear.

Related: Kelly Clarkson’s Body Evolution Through the YearsSee how the first American Idol champ's shape has changed

You feel like such a loser when you’re in it. I never did drugs because I wanted to party. I did drugs because I wanted to numb myself. I hated who I was. I felt so uncomfortable and not worthy of anything that happened to me.

Of course. There was a time where everyone around me was dying and ODing or something horrible. I got survivor’s guilt because I was like, “Well, why have they spared me?” It wasn’t until I turned about 33 that I sat back and was like, “I need to work on me. I need to figure this out because it will be me next.” There are only three places you end up when you’re an addict: jails, institutions or death. I was really f—king lucky that I only ended up in the institutions.

I didn’t used to be able to look at myself in the mirror. I was the kind of girl who showered with the lights off because I didn’t want to look at my body. I don’t feel that way [anymore]. I’m really content with how I look — although everybody thinks I’ve had f—ing plastic surgery!

I’ve had Botox. I’ve always been really honest about what I’ve done and haven’t done. I’ll do injections all day long, but I’ve never done filler. Everyone’s like, “You’ve done too much to your face,” and I’m like, “Actually, underneath all that fat, I was actually all right looking.” My face changed shape when I lost weight.

Oh my God, I’m already there. There are certain things, like I don’t want a flicky neck, so I’ll get that cleaned up. I don’t want jowls, which I feel like I’m starting to get. There’s a way to do it gracefully. I don’t wanna change my face. I want to get my t-ts done. They look droopy and saggy, but I’m too scared. I’m already in pain, and what if it goes wrong?

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I tune the noise out. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. If they think I’ve had plastic surgery, then I must be looking good! But the three-letter words get you, like when someone calls you fat or when everyone’s like, “She’s on Ozempic.” I’ve never done Ozempic! I had my stomach stapled, so get the story right.

Because it’s really hard for people to look at somebody knowing how hard it is to lose weight, and when someone does it, people get a bit like, “Well f–k her. Who does she think she is now?”

When you look at the medical benefits of somebody who has a weight problem, it’s incredible. But I do think that in the wrong hands, it can be a little dangerous.

I don’t think about my weight right now. I don’t work out, but I walk. It’s about making the healthiest choice in that moment, and sometimes I don’t make the healthy choice. But if I fall off, I get right back on again.

I didn’t like the way I looked. I was tired of being a bit fat, and I wanted to be a jeans and T-shirt girl. You can just put a pair of jeans and a T-shirt on and look good. I got to become that girl and it’s great. I love it. I’m really proud of my weight loss journey and where I’m at now. It’s not easy. I wish I would’ve done the surgery sooner.

If people saw how I actually eat, they’d be like, “Oh my God, she’s insane.” [Laughs] Some days, I just live off chocolate and cookies. Food is a struggle for me, and that will never go away. I have all the -isms: the food-isms, the drug-isms, the alcohol-isms, the mental health-isms.

I have such a strong sense of self now. I don’t want to be the prettiest girl in the room, I don’t want to be the smartest or the funniest or the loudest. I just want to be my weird self, and learning to love that weird self was a f—ing journey that took me to the gates of hell and back again.

Honestly, it was a lot of therapy. I had a psychological diagnosis that I didn’t know I was walking around with; I didn’t realize how much my OCD was taking over my life and how much depression and anxiety played into it.

Related: Kelly Osbourne Is ‘Proud‘ to Be a ‘F—king Nepo Baby‘ With ‘Iconic‘ ParentsKelly Osbourne is “proud” to be a “f—king nepo baby.” Kelly, 39, the daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, is making it clear that she has no qualms about being named in the same conversation as her parents. “I’m proud of my parents’ achievements. I think that what they have done is incredible, history-making,” she […]

The downside is that you have access to everything, and a child should not have access to everything. My parents did the best that they could to shield us and educate us on drugs and safe sex. They really went in on teaching us, like, “Don’t do this. This will kill you.”

I hang out the most with . She’s the best. She’s a unicorn. There’s nobody that has ever been like her, and there’s nobody that ever will be like her.

It’s [because outsiders] don’t understand the life. They think, “Why do you have that when you haven’t done anything?”

When people think that my life has been easy. They see me as silver spoon-fed and [that] everything was handed to me because of who my parents are. And in some cases, I won’t lie, that did happen. But in most, I had to fight hard because I wasn’t the skinny, beautiful ingénue. I was the awkward, chubby anarchist, and that’s not for everyone. When it comes to work, I still have to really prove myself before I get a job.

It’s gotten easier. When people don’t like something I’ve done, it doesn’t offend me. All I want to know is, “What would you like to see?” Show me how I can do that better, and then we move on.

I’ve only just watched [it] for the first time. And I’ve only gotten through season 2, I think.

It’s horrible to watch yourself on TV. I don’t care what anyone says. You’re like, “Oh my God, I have a double chin there.” You’ll find everything wrong with yourself. What was even harder was that I was struggling so much with my identity on top of my mom having cancer and my dad being active in his addictions. It was quite difficult, [but] going back and seeing the footage, I was like, “I f–king wish I realized just how cool everything was and I didn’t think I was worthless.” That really is a regret, because it was such an incredible time.

A blessing. I love that people come up to me and think they know me and feel comfortable enough to say certain things. It means that they relate to you.

Related: Hollywood‘s Most Memorable Celebrity Siblings Over the YearsAll in the family! Get to know these stars' brothers and sisters

My parents always taught me: You meet the same people on the way up as you do on the way down. I’ve never behaved like a “celebrity” before. I know a lot [who do]. That is a make-or-break for me with my celebrity friends if they behave like a celebrity.

I’ve seen celebrities click their fingers at people. I’ve seen celebrities see another girl in the room who has a better outfit on and then trip and fall and spill a drink on them. Like mean girl s–t. This is a bit of tea [from my time on Fashion Police]: was meant to be dressed by a designer. I’m not saying who. One of the actresses who that designer was also dressing had her dress pulled from her because she wanted to be the only one wearing that designer. This is the story that we were told at Fashion Police — last minute, [Lupita] went shopping and bought a dress, and it ended up being best dressed.

The best job I’ve ever had was working with and . Joan and I loved each other. She became my mentor, my best friend. We spoke every day, and that was a huge, huge loss for me. I finally became myself on Fashion Police.

I credit Joan for all of that. Therapy and Joan Rivers!

There’s no world in which Fashion Police could exist today. We handle things differently now. There’s no such thing as tongue-in-cheek, and there’s no such thing as a sense of humor, and people get offended very easily. But it was just my opinion of an outfit. It wasn’t a character assassination. Most celebrities want people talking about them. That’s why they put the stupid outfit on.

Since I’ve been posting more on my Instagram of me and my whole family, I’ve had a lot of interest in doing a reality show. We talked about it and were like, “If the offer was right, we would do it.”

No, just my [immediate] family. Logistically it would be a nightmare getting us all together.

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My dad’s medical information. [Ozzy was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2019.] I know what to keep to myself now, whereas before I didn’t.

Parkinson’s is really tricky. We don’t know good days from bad days until you’re in it. We didn’t even know if we were gonna get to Ohio for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame [the “Crazy Train” singer was inducted on October 19]. He got medically cleared for the flight [that day], so we didn’t know if we were going until the day of. He was amazing all weekend and he was so happy to see everyone and so moved and touched and honored by the whole experience.

All of a sudden, you realize, “Oh, they’re fragile, and they’re a little lost and now it’s my job to show them the way.” My biggest fear is losing a member of my family, because we are so close that we are nothing without the other.

They tried to be strict with us, but there was no getting through to us. I take full responsibility for all of that.

I’m not letting my son go out to clubs at 15.

I’d fully embrace it like my mom did with me. She’d be honest and say, “You’re looking a little butch,” or “This is quite a severe look.” But she let me be me.

Related: Kelly Osbourne and Sid Wilson’s Relationship TimelineKelly Osbourne met her boyfriend, Sid Wilson, two decades before they started dating — and it was all thanks to dad Ozzy Osbourne. Kelly met Wilson in 1999 when his band Slipknot toured with Ozzfest — the music festival founded by her parents. The pair developed a lasting friendship before officially confirming in February 2022 […]

My dad’s a wild man, but my mother is the most outrageous Osbourne. You never want to cross my mother.

It was good and bad. If I were to stand in anyone’s shadow, you best believe it will always be his. But that’s why I quit doing music, because I didn’t like the comparison to my dad. It’s one of my biggest regrets, but it led me to amazing other things like Fashion Police.

I love my dad more than anything in the world. I’m so proud of him and everything he’s facing and all the challenges that come his way and how he just seems to get through it every single time. There’s no one like him. He truly is an iron man.

My parents have been fighting in my corner for my entire life. They fought harder for me than I fought for myself at points. They are the best cheerleaders anybody could ever ask for, so supportive, and they gave me the best gift that anyone’s ever given me, and that was sending me to treatment in Austin, Texas, to get to the root of all of my problems. I went to a place called Driftwood. It completely changed my life.

There was a definite pivotal moment that I am not ready to talk about. Something did happen, and I was like, “OK. This is it.” I’m glad it happened; I just carry a lot of guilt about it.

It’s a rocky road for me. Most days are great, but every now and then, I’ll get one really bad day where it’s hard to pull myself out. My natural habitual instinct is to numb myself because then I don’t have to feel the pain and I don’t have to feel unworthy. I can just hibernate. But you can’t do that when you have a baby. You absolutely cannot. Finding other ways of getting through those hard days can be difficult sometimes.

Medication. [It] saved my life.

If you fall down, get back up again.

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We’re going to get a bigger house; we’re just trying to figure out where. Do we want to be close to the studio? Or do we want to go back to England? My son is going to go to school in England. The school system is a bit different in the U.K., and I like the idea of uniforms. I like the idea of no guns [in] schools.

Oh God, of course. When I was pregnant, I lived with my parents. I had the most fun nine months. I was with my dad all day, every day.

I definitely want more babies! I found my guy. We don’t need the certificate. But I know Sid really wants to get married, so we will get married. It’s not as important to me. I’ve worn so many beautiful dresses and had so many moments that have been just about me, so that whole idea of a big day isn’t as important to me.

Related: Kelly Osbourne Says 1st Rehab Stay Taught How to ‘Be a Better Drug Addict‘Kelly Osbourne is detailing her experience going to various rehab facilities over the years. Osbourne, 39, appears in the documentary TMZ Investigates: Matthew Perry and the Secret Celebrity Drug Ring, which premiered on Fox on Monday, September 16. In an interview, the reality TV personality confirmed that she has been to treatment facilities seven times. […]

Never in a million f—-ing years did I think I’d end up with a rock star partner, but I did. We’ve known each other for 25 years.

He’s doing good! I think his ego is burnt more than anything because it was really stupid.

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I’ve got a new show coming out next year on Fox and a bunch of exciting things in the pipeline. I want to pick up where I left off with my clothing line. I want to come out with a line of nonalcoholic champagne that tastes nice. I’m really into the idea of creating businesses now — my own companies — because I’ve carved out my own little world, and I might as well take advantage of it.

For more on Kelly Osbourne, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.

In this articleKelly Osbourne

Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'

Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'

Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'

Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'

Kelly Osbourne Gets Incredibly Candid at 40: 'My Baby Saved Me'