Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'

Jax Taylor. Andrew Chin/Getty Images

‘s time at an in-patient treatment facility helped him learn more about his mental health — and now he’s opening up about the ups and downs of treatment.

“It was a very, very scary step for me, but it really needed to happen. It’s something I’ve been holding onto for many, many years,” Taylor, 45, said on the Friday, September 6, solo episode of his and estranged wife ‘s “When Reality Hits” podcast. “I’ve known for years that there’s been something wrong but I just didn’t want to know. During my stay, I found out a lot about myself. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.”

Taylor admitted that he spent his first few days fighting against the idea of seeking help.

“When I got there, I f—king hated it. Then I just let myself [take it all in] and then I loved it. I didn’t want to f—king leave. I really, really didn’t. I was so sad leaving. I was crying,” he recalled. “I’m like, ‘I don’t want to go.’ I was scared to leave those front doors because I had structure every day.”

Related: Celebrities Who Have Battled Mental Health IssuesDemi Lovato, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jon Hamm, Carrie Fisher, and Ashley Judd are among the many celebrities who've admitted to struggling with depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder

During his 30-day stay, Taylor got used to the routine, which he detailed on the episode.

“I was allowed to have my phone during specific hours. When I wasn’t in therapy — which was approximately seven hours a day — I was allowed outside the facility for an hour each day. So I would go to the gym and I was accompanied by a nurse. A driver from the facility took me and watched me the whole time,” he noted. “But every facility has different rules. So those 30 days were an incredible experience. My days were very, very structured, and I realized that’s something I really needed in my life.”

Taylor shared how he would wake up and have “four to five eggs” for breakfast before eating one oatmeal with his medication. He would then go to the gym before returning for his therapy sessions.

Jax Taylor. Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures

“Just because I went to the facility for 30 days definitely doesn’t mean I’m coming out cured or changed by any means. Although I wish it did work that way, I will not. I’m a work in progress,” he explained before noting how apprehensive he was to leave treatment. “I was like, ‘God, I know the world’s going to hit me a ton of bricks. And I got to go back to filming [The Valley]. I know everybody’s mad at me, and they’re going to come at me.'”

Taylor was “scared” to face the world but he has been “dealing with” putting in the work.

Related: ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Cast: Then and NowWhile some things never change, the cast of Vanderpump Rules is used to a shake-up … and a touch-up. Vanderpump Rules was introduced to Bravo viewers during a special episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in January 2013. Season 1 starred Lisa Vanderpump, who was a Beverly Hills Housewife at the time, Stassi […]

“It’s scary to work on yourself. It’s scary to tell people that you have problems,” he continued. “I now have a little bit better understanding of my mental health struggles. I’ve been put on some serious medication that’s actually been helping me out a lot. In time, I’ll definitely speak more about it openly, but right now I kind of just need to deal with this process.”

Us Weekly confirmed in July that Taylor entered a 30-day treatment program to address his ongoing mental health struggles. He left the in-patient facility one month later, with his rep saying in a statement, “Jax has spent the last 30 days in treatment and will be heading back home later this week. It’s been an emotional month for him and he’s most looking forward to spending time with his son.”

Taylor has since confirmed that he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the weeks after his return home, Taylor’s personal life made headlines when Cartwright, 35, filed for divorce following five years of marriage.

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“I know that Brittany addressed our current situation on last week’s podcast. It’s been a really, really rough week. Anyone that has gone through a divorce will understand how difficult this is,” Taylor said on Friday’s podcast. “Brittany did file for divorce. I understand why she did, and I agree that this is the right decision for our family.”

Despite their relationship coming to an end, Taylor was hopeful for the future.

“I’ll always love and care for Brittany. She’s the mother of my beautiful son,” he said about their 3-year-old son, Cruz. “All I want for us is to be amicable and even hopefully really, really good friends. One day. I know I’m an amazing father and I know that I will make an excellent ex-husband.”

In this articleJax Taylor

Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'

Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'

Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'

Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'

Jax Taylor Didn't Want to Leave Mental Health Facility: 'I Was Scared'